Last week was my son’s birthday. I decided to make a cake from scratch. Actually — the decision was made when I couldn’t find the right “already baked” cake at the store. Nevertheless, I found myself whipping up a cake from scratch and three cans of frosting in my kitchen.Why am I telling you this?
As the electric beaters hummed along, I had some thoughts come to mind. Horrifying thoughts of old behaviors around cake batter. And then — thoughts of how far I’ve come on this “food journey.When we think we haven’t come a long way, sometimes it’s helpful or sometimes there’s a moment (like mixing up a birthday cake) when we realize just how far we HAVE come.
This was that time for me.
Embarrassingly, a long time ago, I used to sneak shakes of cake batter out of the package at night — sometimes during the day — but mostly in the evenings for comfort. Mix with a little water and walah….instant creamy chocolaty sweet emotional bandaid.
Looking back on that time, I’m embarrassed and appalled at myself really. And not embarrassed because I’m telling the world about it, but embarrassed and appalled that I would resort to that kind of ….. what would you call it …. therapy? Yea, therapy. Yummy, yet negative therapy with huge consequences.
We can’t “use” food like that. That’s addiction. That’s something else. That’s not about food.
Licking the cake bowl or tasting the frosting because you want some and it’s good — Totally Fine!! Licking the bowl and squeezing frosting into your mouth because you’re sad, lonely, mad or whatever — Not Fine!!
I’m not saying I was in the best mindset when I was making this cake last week, and for the record, I DID taste both cake batter and frosting; however, I was not in THAT mindset. And thankfully, after tons of inner work, I was able to BE reminded (during that meditative hum of the mixer) how far I’ve come in action and mindset over the years.
It was kind of an “oh my gosh!” moment when I remembered that I used to do that. I’d forgotten all about it until I was mixing this cake up for my son. Now, I’ve made cake mixes in the last 10 years which is around the time when I last did that little trick with the powdered batter and water. Never really thought twice about this. Yet, today just happened to be the day I realized a huge milestone has taken place within me.
While mixing — a lot went on in my brain during that 2-3 minutes! — I realized that I wouldn’t even think of doing that behavior now.
What I’m getting at is this: We think all of the soft skills work is pointless. The mindset (which seems like a useless term) the daily practice of thinking a certain way, the small actions involved, etc. Until one day, we have a huge moment while we’re mixing up a cake. And see just how important the small “mindset” shifts really are.
What are yours? Have you done inner work like this and one day realized how far you’ve come? What have you done that you don’t mind sharing and don’t do anymore? Don’t be shy!
Look what I just shared up there ^^^^^ Let’s have this conversation down in the comments. Are you with me?